SupahAnnie's Blog

Childcare Supervisor to stay at home Mum!

Goodbye My Twenties :(

on May 9, 2013

                                 ‘Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins’  sang by Natasha Bedingfield

Recently I had my birthday and I had to kiss my twenties goodbye. It was the first time that I had not been happy about my birthday coming. I normally wonder about the gifts I will receive, wait in anticipation for the clothes or shoes I had picked out. But this year I just felt sad. I think I feel like this because leaving your twenties is a scary thought. I have always used excuses of age when falling over, being silly, when I don’t fully understand what is happening and when I am unable to join in on a conversation about politics. I always said, I am only a little girl, I am the youngest or I am a teenager we do stupid things. Then I graduated to I only just became an adult then it was, I am only in my twenties what do you expect but now leaving my twenties I feel there are no excuses left. No excuses as to why I don’t know who is in which political party, or why I don’t know what happened from the news last night or for why I can’t tell you what was on channel two last night etc. Saying hey, I’m only 30 just doesn’t mean the same thing. It doesn’t really mean anything at all. I can’t blame my young age as a factor anymore or my lack of knowledge for anything. I have been voting since I was 18 I should know by now what that’s all about. I should probably be able to watch an a current affairs show without being bored right? I should know which cutlery to use next at a fancy restaurant, I should read the world news section of the paper rather than the entertainment section or worse the comics. I occasionally fill in a crossword, word fill in or find a word but these are mainly the ones in my trashy magazines rather than the newspapers. But that’s me it’s who I am. I can be stubborn I only want to watch, be involved in or see things that appeal to me. It’s not to be rude or difficult. It’s more about feeling that life is short and I don’t want to spend it doing things that I have no interest in.

Maybe that’s what leaving your twenties does mean?? Maybe it means the point of life when you realise your likes and dislikes or the things you will put up with along with the things you won’t! Like finally finding yourself or coming into your own as they say. I think that over the last three years I have grown, I have matured, I have begun the process of finding myself. I have changed the way I speak, the way I write and the way I view things, in a really good way. My IQ probably hasn’t increased but my understanding of my self has.

I have found hobbies that I really like that’s something I’ve never really had before. My favourite is that I found writing! I found how much I like to write, be published and feel important in some way. I found I like to write about all different things from serious topics to funny ones. This has even turned into casual work for me.

I found that it is amazing but difficult being a Mum and while that is an extremely important role in itself we need something else as well. I need to be me still, to do things just for me so I don’t lose myself in the vacuum of parenting.

I should be proud of where I am. I should be proud that I am married to the boyfriend I had from 17 years old, that we have a gorgeous, healthy little boy, that we have a lovely house and that we have great families. I am proud of these things they mean the world to me. I may still feel like I am 12 but maybe we all do, maybe that’s ok?

I am happy with who I am now even if I don’t want to leave my twenties! It’s happened and I am ok. I got amazing presents including lovely surprises from my husband and I still have some birthday money left to spend which is still just as exciting as when I was 12.

So this song sums up what I have learnt over the past few years. It doesn’t make me Einstein but it helps me be me, so maybe that’s enough. Maybe like Peter Pan I just don’t want to grow up but does anyone really?

Sang by Des’ree:

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

Time asks no questions it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning can’t stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face

So tell me how did other’s feel about leaving their twenties??

P.S I want to wish my hubby a very Happy Birthday coming up and remind him that we have so much to be proud of and grateful for.
I am so proud of his Daddy skills and how well he is doing at work! We love you Daddy xo



5 responses to “Goodbye My Twenties :(

  1. Happy Birthday Annie 🙂 It is a bit of shock turning 30, but trust me, the best years are still to come xx

  2. Louise says:

    Love this article Annie. You are so talented. I was very unsure of leaving my 20`s too. We made it!

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