SupahAnnie's Blog

Childcare Supervisor to stay at home Mum!

I have just started to realise…. Life is short!

on May 27, 2013

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Lately I have been hearing about nothing but sickness, cancer and death. Sounds awful I know but it is a reminder that nobody knows how long we all have in this life.  So we should celebrate the time we have and spend as much time as possible with those we love. 
 
I started reminding myself of this in the last three years or so. It really does put things in perspective in a good way. So I may be really worried, stressed and anxious about something but then I think will this matter in five, ten or twenty years time is it a matter of life and death? Most of the time it’s not. There is an amazing book called ‘Change your Thinking by Sarah Edelmen.  In it she says, ‘90% of the things we worry about will never come to pass’. This is so true.
 
I love this and I have put it up around my house to remind me of it everyday. The book helps us to see things in a different light. It made me realise that we are the controllers of our thinking!! Really, we are despite what happens to us or around us we can always be in control of our thoughts, that is pretty amazing. We can’t totally control what’s going to happen, we can’t control or change what others do but we can control our thoughts in any given situation. We have the power, feels good doesn’t it!! 
 
So I wanted to try it out so I thought about something that drives me insane, often and annoys me just thinking about it. Traffic, hopeless drivers, people that cut you off or drive so close they are nearly in your boot, grrrr that really makes me mad. Really I hardly ever yell, scream or name call at all but when I am driving I believe I morph into a different person.  I have no empathy and no patience I name call, call out as if the person can totally hear me, shake my head, roll my eyes. I must look very funny at the traffic lights! 
 
So when I was driving the other day I reminded myself that I alone control my thoughts. It didn’t take long for someone to cut me off, not indicate at a roundabout and tailgate. But I stayed calm, well much calmer than normal. I took big calming breaths through my diaphragm and told myself that I don’t know what has just happened in that person’s life before they cut me off. They may be on their way to a hospital, a sick relative, they may have just been fired, cheated on, found out a love one died. I don’t know because I am in my car, they are in theirs. For whatever reason they are not driving safely and putting all the road users at risk but I can choose to stay calm. I can choose to feel empathy for this person who is obviously not very happy with something. By doing this I can stop an accident from happening. I can at least drive safely trying to avoid them and protect my family. It was powerful and it did work, try it and let me know how you go??
 
I am over petty fights, particularly those with love one’s. They are pointless and just make everyone feel awful. People will upset us, put us down or annoy us but we can choose how to respond. Instead of an argument we can choose to express our feelings by having a calm communication with the person. Sometimes it is simply better to agree to disagree rather than be stubborn. Stubborn people are not happy people. I have seen a friendship that has been broken after twenty years over one argument. One argument where one person would not back down, would not agree to disagree and the friendship is over! What is the point of that, what are they trying to prove?? On their deathbed will they say, ‘Wow I’m so glad I lost my best friends and I refused to let that argument go, I am so proud of myself’. No way, they will be ashamed, they will think of all the fun times together they missed out on and can’t get back, ever. 
 
I don’t want to win an argument I want to be heard, fix the relationship and not waste my short life with petty nonsense. I want to love strongly and be loved and treasured in return. I want to tell my family how much they mean to me all the time incase it is the last time. I don’t want to think, I wish I said this, I wish I said that or I wish I could hug them one last time. 
 
So today and everyday tell the people you love that you love them no matter what. Kiss your partner a little bit longer, hug your kids a little bit tighter, text or ring people just to show them that you care. We don’t know how long we have all got but we have now, this very moment to tell others how we feel, to make amends and to let go of the petty little things. 
 
Sing it out loud as Nickelback do:
          
     If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
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